National: Regular Columns / Plugged In The Hazzard

Plugged In The Hazard: The Long Cold Winter

Last Updated on Sunday, 16 March 2014 12:18 Sunday, 16 March 2014 11:33

by Andrew Penner

(Opinions expressed in this column are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Inside Golf. They might. But not necessarily - ed.)

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Golf and snow are about as compatible as Rob Ford and logic.
 
Golf is a warm weather game. And Rob Ford is a moron.
 
But let’s talk about why - especially considering that we’re just coming out of a winter that was about as much fun as a double molar extraction - we even bother with golf in this country.

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Plugged In The Hazard: The Rules Of Golf

Last Updated on Wednesday, 31 July 2013 23:05 Wednesday, 31 July 2013 12:01

by Andrew Penner

 

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Just like Oprah Winfrey in yoga pants, the rules of golf can be somewhat baffling.

Understandably, the vast majority of weekend golfers could never be bothered to learn all the terrible taboos and silly sins that exist in our game. And who could blame them?

After all, it’s hard enough to play the game without spilling your beer.

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Plugged In The Hazard: When Golf is Not Fun

Last Updated on Wednesday, 13 March 2013 08:47 Tuesday, 12 March 2013 19:40

by Andrew Penner

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Yes, we can sugarcoat it all day long, but sometimes golf – and don’t come after me with your five-iron for saying it – just isn’t fun.
 
Yes, yes, I know, that’s blasphemy. I’ve got a pitchfork and very hot flames in my future, I get it.
 
But, come on, we’ve all played a round of golf that was about as much fun as peeing on a spark plug.

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Plugged In The Hazard: Golf’s Changing Of The Guard

Last Updated on Tuesday, 10 April 2012 22:12 Tuesday, 10 April 2012 21:43

by Andrew Penner

 

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Let’s take a walk to the very exclusive We’ve-All-Got-Something-Stuck-In-Our-Rear-End Country Club, shall we.
 
The club, located in a hushed and heavenly setting on the edge of town, is going through a bit of a rough patch these days.
 
It seems membership is down a wee bit and a lot of the younger folk would like to see a few things changed.
 
To top it off, Old Man Underhill - he was closing in on 73 years as Club President - was recently stuffed into a wood chipper (he had ties to the mafia, or something) and has taken up residence inside a brown wooden box.
 
And now, surprise surprise, the $#%@! is really starting to fly.

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Plugged In The Hazard: Bad Pairings

Last Updated on Thursday, 15 March 2012 14:36 Thursday, 15 March 2012 13:29

by Andrew Penner

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For golfers, who you’re paired with can make or break your day.
 
Get the right pairing and, regardless of how many cold tops you hit into the juniper bushes, your round can be laugh-filled and memorable. Time well spent.
 
Get the wrong pairing and, by the fourth tee, you could be wishing you were back at the ward undergoing shock treatments with Nurse Ratched.

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