Plugged In The Hazard: Golf Bloopers
- Category: Plugged In The Hazard
- Published: 2016-01-09
by Andrew Penner - In a sport where about three billion things could go wrong on any given shot, it's no surprise that golf and bloopers go together like beer and nachos. Sasquatch and hair. Batman and Robin. Ok, you get the idea.
Yes, when you have four fallible human beings in close proximity, each with sticks and balls, interesting things are bound to happen. Sometimes very interesting things. And the only thing better than a good golf blooper is a good golf blooper that is caught on camera for the masses to enjoy.
Image Caption : Golf Can Be A Hazardous Sport - In More Ways Than One
Unfortunately, the written medium cannot do justice to the visual medium in this context. In other words, for golf bloopers to be really funny, you kinda have to either witness them firsthand (this is the best way) or watch them on video (this is the second best way).
Although one never really knows when a good golf blooper is about to happen, there are often some tip-offs. (Ie: one of your playing partners, Cowboy Jim, has consumed a flat of wobbly pop and declares that he will be the first person in history to clear Dead Man's Gulch with his powercart.)
So, best be on the ready. Thankfully, in this day and age, everyone has a cell phone with a camera. So, for the love of laughter, make sure you have yours ready when you sense a powerful moment of idiocy is close at hand. Because sharing these things is what makes life worth living. (And the reason why the creators of YouTube are multi-kazillionaires.)
No doubt, if you have been playing the game long enough or habitually play with complete imbeciles, you have witnessed some hilarious shenanigans on the course. But if you haven't, rest assured, there is plenty of moronic activity in cyberworld that you can appreciate and enjoy.
Not surprisingly, when you search YouTube and other video platforms, you will find thousands of messed-up moments caught on camera. The other day, while at my son's piano recital (I wasn't the only one on a device), I did this and noticed that most golf bloopers fall into a few main categories.
1. Whiffs – Golf's ultimate act of failure is always worth a smile. However, when you combine a whiff with a spin-o-rama, a massive pelt that soars through the air, or a colourful sailor-talk soliloquy, well, the “air ball” will forever be a crowd pleaser.
2. Golfer Falling Into a Water Hazard – There seem to be quite a few documented cases where an off-balance swing near the water's edge leads to an inadvertent swan dive, cartwheel, or canon-ball into the deep. This is always solid entertainment.
3. Ricochets – Speaking of “solid,” a shanked shot that rings off the ball washer - or another solid object like a power cart, a pump house, or someone's shin bone – and comes back to strike the victim in the solar plexus, well, that's kinda humourous.
4. Drunken Golf Cart Accidents – True, playing Dukes of Hazzard or Jackass on the golf course can be bad for one's health. Very bad. But, you gotta be honest, “Dumbest Stuff on Wheels” is going to be a winning formula until we all fly spaceships.
5. Club Throwing Meltdowns – The helicopter heave is also a fairly dangerous and juvenile move. But one that will always draw snorts and smirks from innocent onlookers. Indeed, utter frustration, to the point where one completely loses all emotional and physical control, is downright comical. Especially so if the “helicopter” doesn't land on anyone's head.
6. The Crotch Shot – Nothing really needs to be said here. It is what it is.
7. The Completely Unexpected – Weird and wacky things are always possible when someone...anyone...is at the end of a club. From granny going ballistic on the 18th green to little Johnny driving the cart into a pond, golf and stupid human tricks go together like cake and ice cream. Pee Wee Herman and bicycles. Mick Jagger and lips. Cher and hair. You get the idea.
Andrew Penner is a freelance writer and photographer based in Calgary. His work has appeared in Golf Magazine, Golf Week, SCOREGolf, Westjet Magazine, Westworld, and many other golf and lifestyle publications in North America.