Exclusive: What Greg Norman’s Unacknowledged Hand-Delivered Note Said To Tiger Woods

By GREG SHACKELFORD, GeoffShackelford.com

Thanks to exclusive recycle-bin scavengers in the greater Jupiter area, I’ve been able to piece together the post-Masters congratulatory note delivered to Tiger Woods by Greg Norman.

Norman admitted in Men’s Health that even after delivering to Woods’ security guard and identifying himself, Tiger has not thanked Norman for the thank you correspondence.

Forensic evidence suggests one of Woods’ staffers used the note to pick up defecation by the family pet, therefore handwriting experts are still working to confirm if the note was penned by Norman. However, several clinical psychiatrists can verify that it suggests the trademark signs of a note penned by a right-handed older male who wears copious amounts of sunscreen, may have once suffered a severe hand-injury trimming shrubs, and exhibits narcissistic tendencies.

Working through some of the pet stains, here is the best possible interpretation of the note...