Yes, It's The Equipment's Fault

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Category: From The Fringe

Published: 2020-09-01

By Ian Fabian

There are times when you just have to take drastic action. I recently bought the Super Stroke 2.0 grip for my putter. Apparently either my putter or my hands didn’t like it.

Since I didn’t think getting rid of my hands was a viable option, I purchased a new, round, over-sized grip for the putter. My putter apparently then decided that it would only work if the holes were a ¼“ wider.

I proposed this solution to the pro shop who said they’d give it as much consideration as they thought it was worth... and then ridiculously suggested my alignment might be off.

I finally came to the painful conclusion that the only way things were going to get better was that some discipline had to be involved.

The following Sunday, my putter and its new grip were locked in the trunk. My “winter putter” and I went out and enjoyed a round with 31 putts. Sometimes hard decisions and discipline are necessary……

Chapter Two

After a sentence of two weeks in the trunk I decided that perhaps my regular “temperamental” putter might have learned a lesson.

It seemed quite happy to be back with its old friends when I returned it to the bag. Its performance on the course was acceptable, but not spectacular. I put that down to a bit of rust following its confinement.

That was my Saturday round, as Sunday also went slightly better putting-wise, I felt we were indeed on our way once more. Sometimes making assumptions about your golf game isn’t the wisest thing to do…..

Chapter Three

In digressing somewhat to readdress how putting could be made a much more enjoyable endeavour, I believe the greenskeeper has to bear at least some responsibility for the situation.

I’ve mentioned to our pro shop on more than one occasion after finishing my round how the holes had been placed in the wrong locations. Please don’t take my word alone on this; ask yourself how many times your ball has been on the green and right beside where your ball is sitting is a previous hole location that has been filled-in, leaving you a 35-foot putt instead of a tap-in.

The reply from the grounds crew on this matter is usually, “Well, if you’d been playing yesterday you’d have been very close.” I book my tee-times a week in advance so it’s not like they don’t know when I’ll be playing.

They should govern themselves more accordingly.

Chapter Four

Fast forward to our Club Championship weekend. It loomed as a game-time decision but I was leaning towards my “winter putter” at that point. If things didn’t improve dramatically, a trip to my local golf store was a definite possibility. After all, everyone knows it’s the equipment. To be continued...

Chapter Five

It's Saturday morning, first day of the Club Championship, I plan to arrive at the course 45 minutes before my tee-time in order to hit balls and warm up. I get in my power cart and proceed back to my car.

The button on the bottom lip of my trunk isn’t working, so I get back in the car and press the button on the dashboard. That isn’t working either. I try using the key fob, to no avail. Panic sets in.

I'm on my 3rd phone call to the service department trying to get someone to help. I finally get through and the technician tells me to open my glove box. Apparently there’s a “secret switch” that if hit accidentally locks everything on your car except the door. Not sure which genius came up with that idea but finally, after emptying the entire contents of my glove box, I find the switch and get my clubs and shoes out of the trunk.

This probably contributed somewhat to the worst putting day of my life with my “winter putter”. The only thing I holed was a chip-in on the 6th hole. That finishes it, I’m stopping at the golf store/driving range down the road on the way home. They have to have something to fix this equipment problem.

Epilogue

I arrived at the course 45 minutes ahead of my tee-time with my new TaylorMade Spider X putter comfortably nestled in my bag. My bank is happy as I’m sure they’re making money on the second mortgage I had to take out on my condo in order to pay for the putter.

One of my playing partners, who considers himself a bit of a comedian (he’s also a lawyer, so I'm sure you can see the irony), suggests he’ll give me $175.00 less than what I paid for it, but the price will go down by the end of the round.

I putt pretty well during the course of the round but when I drain a 13’ downhill-slider on 16, then make an 18-footer uphill, bending left to right, I advise him that the price is now $225.00 more than what I paid for it. Putting problem solved.

I knew it was the equipment all along.